kaitwillows -

unfinished self-help guide (2026 remaster)

album

listen:

i don’t know how to feel about this album. originally, i had released it in 2022, largely as a compilation of demos i had been working on for the past 1-2 years-ish.

during this time, gender dysphoria, and its effects permeated my life. in highschool, i often looked for songs that sounded as loud as possible, and listened to them on the highest volume i could. i wanted something to hurt, and music could come close, while also sounding like a representation of the dissonance i felt.

this is the theme of tracks 1-11 (and 24). some of them i made to express what was in my mind, and to help soothe it. tracks 5, 6, 7, and 24 in particular are designed to be rather unbearable.

though often it felt endless to the point of absurdity, i never thought that it wouldn’t get better. i don’t know why, but i held that as a conviction. life can be so fucking good, and when it’s not, it usually will be.

this is the theme of tracks 12-23. some of them i made because i’m in love with music. tracks 12, and 22 allude to songs i cherrish.

when i first released “unfinished self-help guide,” it had a tracklist that was writen like a message to myself, and anyone else who needed to hear it

(that’s not to say i don’t think its cringe asf):

okay so hear me out

you want to feel better, right

you’ll get there

but just saying that probably isn’t enough to help

it’ll take a while

like a hot second or two

because time and time again

you’re gonna wake up wanting to hurt yourself

sometimes you will, sometimes you won’t

regardless of what you choose

it’ll hurt

so when you’re sad

think about hatsune miku

think about miku eating oatmeal

and remind yourself of something true

like the fact that you’re worth it

now just take a breath

because there’s still work to do

it’s not gonna be easy

but you’re gonna do it

because if you keep going

you’ll probably make it

ps: sorry